Throwback to exactly three years ago when I joined this 750 words site in a bid to increase my writing output, and the idea was to just w r i t e e v e r y d a y . It's online writing, but it's not blogging or status updating. Plain ol' writing about anything and everything in the morning to clear your mind so that ideas get flowing for the rest of the day - that's what it's supposed to do. I was very taken by the idea of morning pages, but should have known better coz I only lasted one day ????? Midnight pages defo suit me better (; Anw my free trial had long been over and I would need to pay to join as a member (which I would not do so) and in remembrance of the only brain dump I ever did on that site, here goes
________________________________________________Wednesday, July 31, 2013
So, Im actually typing away here at 750words instead of my tumblr which I swear by cos Im intrigued by the idea of morning pages and typing freely without a fucking care. But now that I see this site requires me to become a member so that I can keep on writing here, and by which becoming a member means I have to give $5 and I don't know if I still wanna write here anymore.
I mean, poor student I am. And it's so fucking stressful trying to hit 750 words. Can you see my trying to spueeze words out here right now. With mighty force. Like squeezing a toothpaste that is coming to its end. In hope of earning a Cheetah badge, lol. I can run like a Cheetahhh, but not assembling words in coherent sentences.
I actually think through before I write and that is something I wanna change. SOOO, maybe typing away here will help, in some way or another. And also, this big white space is so fucking good to let my thoughts, my words spill out. Freakin' amazing!!!
Ah, 15 more min to be on my way to the Cheetah badge. Right.
Let's see, okay, what does writing means to me? Why do I write what I write? And do I love writing?
I will get down to the last question first. I love writing. But not for the sake of writing, like what I am doing now. And that is why at the end of this post or entry I will find zero meaning in it and maybe burn some calories from the pressure I put on myself for wanting to hit 750 words in 20 minutes, phew. Anyway, yeah, I still love writing. Cos it delivers things going on in my brain more accurately and endearingly than my mouth could ever do. I cannot speak well. Okay, sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. But that's the problem, there is no consistency here. But Im definitely more comfortable with words. Yeehaw.
Usually I write only when I feel strongly about something, like missing a certain boy, feeling the ache in the chest that sometimes come up in long, lonely nights, or when I think about something thought-provoking. As Thought Catalog puts it - all thinking are relevant. Or something along that line.
Hmm, there goes my 20 minutes I think.
Right on track, yes. I will write about fireworks, and the gaze that lingers a little too long. I will write about my insecurities and things I can actually be proud of. I will write about friends, about family, about myself, about being. Being a human, but questioning my existence. That kind of things. It can sometimes be very original, yet sometimes it can stems from others' thoughts, their words. And how I take it to expand into my own ramblings and musings.
So in a way, writing is important to me cos they are my own words, my own thought processes. Duh. Sometimes I hope I write some really good shit that leaves an impression but at the end of the day, everyone can write. But not everyone WILL write. So Im trying to push myself to write as often as I can, so one day, one freaking euphoria moment, I can type away and let it all out cos there have been something to say within me. And for that to happen, Im gonna live to experience, live to love, live to get fucked up by people (maybe fuck people up sometimes), just live cos writing comes from both the brains AND the heart.
And everything I write here, it's a documentation. A thought, a belief at some point. Or this might just be an avenue for me to create some writer's block. Cos come on, I still have a little over a hundred words to go. Ugh. What am I getting myself into huh.
Or maybe I can start writing a freaking badass novel. HAHA. Not too bad an idea. I will see how it goes! Only have a rudimentary idea of how this site works.
Don't really think I have type this long an entry in any blog post (not factoring in academic esays and reports) but you know what, I HITTTT DDDDA SEVEN \m/ Why can't it be 500 words? It will make my life easier. And I might be too groggy in the morning to even manage 50 words, let alone 750!! So anyway, all is good. 750 words yadahh-yadahh.
Till then. I mean, till tmr.
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THANKZ FOR READING HAHAHAHAHA MOST MEANINGLESS POST (OR NOT)